Nimanto

Guide

How to word RSVPs and set the deadline

By Nimanto · · 4 min read

The short answer

Ask for a reply by a specific date, with the day of the week: “Kindly reply by Saturday, May 15.” Set the deadline three to four weeks before a wedding, and one to two weeks before a party. Ask only what you need, such as numbers and dietary needs, and follow up kindly with anyone who has not answered.

How should you word an RSVP?

Keep the reply line short, give a firm date and say how to reply. “RSVP” is French for “please reply”, so “please RSVP” is technically repetitive, though widely used. Plain English works just as well: “Kindly reply by”, “Please let us know by” or “Reply by” all sound natural and polite.

Kindly reply by Saturday, May 15.

Please let us know if you can join us by May 15.

RSVP by May 15. We hope you can make it.

The favour of a reply is requested by the fifteenth of May.

  • The last line is traditional wording for formal invitations.

How far before the event should the RSVP deadline be?

Work back from the date your caterer or venue needs final numbers, then add a week or two to follow up with late guests. For weddings that usually means three to four weeks before the day. For birthday parties, showers and dinners at home, one to two weeks before is usually enough.

  • Weddings: three to four weeks before.
  • Destination weddings: six to eight weeks before, so guests can book travel.
  • Catered parties: two weeks before.
  • Casual parties at home: one week before.
  • Write the full date with the weekday, not “two weeks before the party”.

How do you ask guests about dietary needs?

Ask one clear question on the reply: does anyone in your party have dietary needs or allergies? Separate serious allergies from preferences, because the kitchen treats them differently. If you offer a meal choice, list the options and ask for a choice per guest, not per household.

Please let us know of any allergies or dietary needs.

Does anyone in your party have a food allergy we should tell the caterer about?

Dinner choice for each guest: chicken, fish or vegetarian.

  • Pass allergies to the caterer by name, with the table number if there is a seating plan.

How do you show how many people are invited?

Name every invited person on the invitation or its envelope, and if you use a reply card, state the number of places held. A line such as “We have reserved two seats in your honour” tells guests exactly who is included without having to say who is not. It is the gentlest way to set a limit.

We have reserved two seats in your honour.

Number attending: ___ of 2

On Nimanto, you set how many plus-ones each guest may bring, and their personal link caps the headcount to match: see what guests are asked.

What else is worth asking on an RSVP?

Only ask what will change your planning. Useful extras include which days a guest will attend a multi-day event, whether they need transport from the hotel, children’s ages for a kids’ menu, or a song request. Every extra question makes replying slower, so keep it to two or three at most.

Which events will you join? Mehendi, sangeet, wedding, reception.

Will you need a seat on the shuttle from the hotel?

One song that will get you on the dance floor:

How do you follow up with guests who haven’t replied?

Send one friendly reminder about a week before the deadline, then contact anyone still silent personally a day or two after it. Assume the message was missed rather than ignored. Keep the tone light, ask for a yes or no, and give them a quick way to answer.

Hi Sam, just checking you saw our invitation. Could you let us know by Saturday if you can come? No pressure either way.

We’re finalising numbers with the caterer this week. Will you be joining us on the 12th?

Hope all is well. We’d love to know if you can make it, so we can save your seat.

Nimanto can send an automatic reminder to guests who have not replied yet, and another the day before the event: see reminders.

Questions people ask

Is it rude to put an RSVP deadline on an invitation?

No. A reply date is expected and helps guests as much as hosts, because it tells them when you need an answer. Word it warmly, such as “Kindly reply by May 15”, and give the full date. Leaving it out usually means more chasing later and less accurate numbers.

What does regrets only mean on an invitation?

“Regrets only” means guests should reply only if they cannot come; silence counts as a yes. It suits casual gatherings and office events where an exact count matters less. Avoid it for weddings and catered events, because guests who forget to reply leave you guessing about numbers.

How long before an event should RSVPs be due?

For a wedding, three to four weeks before the day, or six to eight weeks for a destination wedding. For a catered party, about two weeks before, and for a casual party at home, about one week. Work back from the date your caterer or venue needs final numbers.

What do you do if a guest doesn’t RSVP?

Contact them personally a day or two after the deadline, by message or phone, and ask simply whether they can come. Assume they missed the invitation rather than ignored it. If you still hear nothing, decide whether to hold a place, and tell your caterer the number you are planning for.