Nimanto

Guide

Plus-ones and kids on invitations: how to say it

By Nimanto · · 5 min read

The short answer

The clearest way to show who is invited is to name them: the names on the invitation, envelope or personal link are the guests invited. Add “and guest” only when a plus-one is welcome. For an adults-only event, say so kindly on the details page or reply card, and repeat it personally to anyone who asks.

How do you show who is invited?

Address the invitation to exactly the people invited. “Maya Chen” means Maya alone, “Maya Chen and guest” means she may bring someone, and “The Patel family” means the whole household, children included. On a reply card or digital reply, the number of places held confirms it without saying anything awkward.

  • One name: that person only.
  • Two names: that couple only.
  • A name “and guest”: a plus-one is welcome.
  • “The Patel family” or children named: the children are invited too.

We have reserved two seats in your honour.

Who usually gets a plus-one?

Widely given etiquette says married, engaged and live-in couples should always be invited together, by name, and partners in a long relationship usually are too. A plus-one is also kind for members of the wedding party and guests who will not know anyone else. Single guests without a partner do not have to get one.

  • Always: spouses, fiancés and live-in partners, invited by name.
  • Usually: partners in a long-term relationship.
  • Kind: wedding party members and guests who know no one else.
  • Optional: everyone else. Whatever rule you choose, apply it evenly.

How do you say no plus-ones?

Mostly you do not need to say it: naming the guest and holding one place does the work. If you want to be explicit, put a short, warm line on the details page or reply card, and explain the reason in a word, such as space or budget. Never write it on the main invitation.

Our venue is small, so we are only able to invite the guests named on the invitation.

We have reserved one seat in your honour.

Due to limited space, we are unable to accommodate additional guests. Thank you for understanding.

How do you say an event is adults-only?

Address the invitation to the adults only, then add a gentle line on the details page or reply card. Thank parents for understanding, and say it once rather than repeating it everywhere. If you are making exceptions, such as children in the wedding party or a nursing baby, be ready to explain them kindly.

We love your little ones, but our wedding will be an adults-only celebration.

We hope this gives you a night off. Our celebration is for adults only.

To let all our guests relax and celebrate, we have chosen to keep our day adults only, with the exception of immediate family.

  • A list of local babysitters is a thoughtful touch for guests travelling with children.

How do you word an invitation that includes children?

Name the children on the invitation, or address it to “the family”, so parents know they are welcome. If you are planning anything for them, such as a kids’ table, a supervised room or an earlier dinner, say so: parents decide whether to bring children based on what they will do all evening.

Children are warmly welcome. There will be a kids’ corner with games and a sitter.

Aisha, Omar, Zara and Sami Siddiqui.

Bring the whole family. Little ones are part of the celebration.

What do you say when a guest asks to bring someone?

Reply quickly, warmly and with the same reason you gave everyone else. Thank them for asking, explain the limit in one sentence, and say you hope they can still come. Avoid making a private exception you would not make for others, because guests compare notes and fairness keeps the peace.

Thank you for asking. We’ve had to keep the numbers very tight, so we can only include the guests on the invitation. We really hope you can still come.

We completely understand, and we’re sorry we can’t include children this time. We’d love to see you both if you can arrange it.

Of course, we’d love to meet them. I’ll add a seat for them now.

  • The last line is for when you can say yes. Then add them properly to the guest list, so the numbers stay right.

Setting plus-ones on a digital invitation

On Nimanto you decide in the RSVP settings how many plus-ones a guest may bring, and each guest’s personal link caps their headcount to match, so the number is set without a word on the invitation: see what guests are asked. Your guest list shows who has been sent the invitation, who opened it and who replied.

Questions people ask

How do you say no plus-ones on a wedding invitation?

Address the invitation only to the guests invited, and show the number of places held, such as “We have reserved one seat in your honour”. If you want to say more, add a short line on the details page: “Our venue is small, so we can only invite the guests named on the invitation.”

Is it rude not to give a plus-one?

No. Hosts are not expected to give single guests a plus-one, and many weddings cannot afford to. It is considered rude only to leave out a spouse, fiancé or live-in partner. Apply the same rule to everyone, and consider a plus-one for guests who will not know anyone else there.

How do you politely say no kids at a wedding?

Address invitations only to the adults, then add one warm line to the details page, such as “We love your little ones, but our wedding will be an adults-only celebration.” Tell close family personally before invitations arrive, and be consistent about any exceptions, such as children in the wedding party.

What does “and guest” mean on an invitation?

It means the person named may bring one companion of their choosing, who is not named on the invitation. The guest should tell the host the companion’s name when they reply. Without “and guest”, the invitation is for the named people only, and they should not bring anyone else.